The Dark Skate

I went roller skating and par-took in this skate known as the “dark skate,” and I would describe this skate as the most dangerous behavior I have exhibited in the last month.  

At about the fifth warning for parents to “remove any children unable to skate without assistance off of the rink before the dark skate begins,” I began to sweat a little wondering if I should step off. I am not what one would describe as coordinated. However, I felt emboldened by some new life decisions I won’t get into today so I said Self, what the hell.

What the hell is right. A dark skate consists of a rink only lighted by the glow of cosmic, disco lights and their less ethereal partner, the strobe light. Essentially, this means that you and your fellow skaters are in fact moving around the rink, but appear to just be transferring from one floor panel to another like characters in a poorly constructed flip book.

The effects of the strobe light were so stunning that I began to just drift along, feeling as though the flickers of light were in fact transporting me around the rink and the roller skates were just an illusion. However, I was quickly stirred from this feeling when the grazing shoulder of a nearby child almost sent me flailing into the oblivion of the unknown.

Naturally, anxiety began to settle in. Self, what have we gotten into? How do we get out? But alas, Gaga’s voice both calmed and revived me at once.

“I’m gonna Marry the Night,” she began and I literally (yeah, I know the proper use of literally, Dear Reader) screamed, “This is my JAM!”

I sang and dance-skated through it even though I was sure my moves were going to take down small flip-book children passing by. Even though this is ridiculous in retrospect, I really felt a sense of self discovery at this moment.

What can I say? The lights shimmered and the lyrics fit.

P.S.

Two things to look at!

If you need schooled on the use of literally READ THIS: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally

If you need something empowering to listen to WATCH THIS (but skip to exactly 8 minutes in...just trust me on this one): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cggNqDAtJYU&ob=av3e